Everyone wants your mum positively drenched in overpriced goo this Mother’s Day, writes Alex Casey. After entering a brief state of Chemist Warehouse-induced catatonia in the hand soap aisle, I lined up to pay next to a giant L’Oréal stand for Mother’s Day. Eva Longoria smized next to shelves of serums, creams, retinols and “instant eye bag erasers” as a worrying red laser scanned across her own poreless, lineless face.